beds and a coffee machine
by Kyla1
Summary: Chakotay tricks Kathryn into giving up coffee. Revenge is iminent. J/C Done from characters pov.


Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine and I promise to give them back more or less in the same condition as I found them. (title is Savage Garden song, I just like it so I nicked it, don't sue!)  
  
Summary: Chakotay tricks Janeway into giving up coffee. Revenge is imminent. Run Chakotay! Run for the hills! Little j/c   
  
Feedback: Always welcome and appreciated! This the first time I've tried to do it from characters pov, good or bad move?  
  
  
2 beds and a coffee machine   
  
Janeway pov:  
  
What the hell do I do now? I've done my reports, looked over the ship, chatted to practically everyone on board and I'm still wide awake. I've avoided Chakotay, I even ended up hiding from him at one point in the middle of a conversation. My reputation is in tatters thanks to a henpecking first officer who just cannot be argued with, if he found out I was still awake for the second night running then he would kill me or give me one of those sorrowful looks of his. It's ridiculous! A grown Women and a captain of a star ship being treated like an infant by a grown man. Maybe I should try counting sheep.  
One sheep....two sheep....a coffee mug....a sheep drinking coffee....damn. What now? Well if I go to sleep now I'll never wake up so I suppose it's what I did last night, drink some coffee and see the night through. I'll just stand up to Chakotay, tell him it's none of his business. But first I'll clear up all signs that I was up all night. Looks like that foundation will come in handy after all.  
  
Chakotay pov:  
  
As I walk into the captains ready room I can already see signs that she has been up all night again, the polystyrene cups thrown hastily in a bin, lot's of polystyrene cups, even more than last night. The endless padds stacked on the desk and Captain Janeway herself, running on over drive due to too much coffee. She tries not to look at me, a sure sign she's trying to hide the steadily growing bags under her eyes.  
"Good morning commander!" Her voice is overly cheery, a definite sign that she's trying to hide something. You learn these things after working with her for some time.  
"Good morning to you Captain, I hope you slept well?" I think I gave away to much in my voice in that sentence, her head jerks and she glances sharply at me, she's knows I'm onto her.   
"Fine thank you," Now she's looking at me I can see the bags underneath the neatly applied make up designed to throw me off the scent, but that won't work this time.  
"Are you sure? You look tired?" Now she definitely knows I'm onto her, she sighs and rolls her eyes, throwing the pretence out of the window.   
"I'm fine Chakotay, really! I can go without sleep." Now she's trying to appeal to my human nature, which I seem to have misplaced.  
"Everyone needs sleep Captain, even high flying career women such as yourself. You're doing no favours to you or the ship." Her eyes narrow. She's very predictable, now I will get a Janeway death stare and a cutting remark with no familiarity in it.  
"It is hardly any of your business commander," The commander is emphasised to bring attention to my lower rank. "I am perfectly capable of going without sleep and performing to the best of my abilities," Right on cue the death stare, that has reduced lower crew members to tears, cuts through me. But it doesn't work on me.   
"What about the amount of coffee you drink?" I've hit a raw nerve now, she feels very strongly about her coffee.  
"My coffee is merely I drink that a happen to enjoy, it has nothing to do with the amount of hours I sleep." Ha! She's going to regret that, I have her now.  
"So why don't you give up coffee then? Prove me wrong." I'm laughing inside, Captain Janeway can't resist a challenge and hates to bow under pressure. The panic shows through in her eyes but she won't betray it in her voice.  
"Fine then," She acts as though coffee is a nothing to her, she doesn't need it. But to the trained eye she is visibly panicking, I fight the urge to laugh and nod. As soon as I leave her room I am unable to contain my laughter anymore despite the fact I know she can still hear me. I get a few questioning looks as I walk into Bridge.  
"What's so funny?" Only Tom would ask, he's more curious than the rest of us put together.  
"I've just challenged Captain Janeway to give up coffee," there is silence for a few moments while they all ponder on what Captain Janeway would be like without coffee. Tom starts to snigger, Harry looks terrified and Tuvok just looks Vulcan. I try to avoid their eyes and hide my laughter. These next few days should be fun!  
  
Janeway pov:  
  
Oh shit, shit, shit, shit, shitty, shit. Help! The second Chakotay leaves my ready room I can hear him start laughing the bastard. I'm going to kill him, I really am! Well I'll show him, I don't need coffee, it's a non-entity in my life. A nothing. I haven't had any coffee this morning and I feel fine. Oh god coffee! Visions of steaming coffee mugs are flying past my very tired eyes, I didn't realise just how tired I was. Must...drink...coffee, no! I will not give in to temptation and let that smug bastard win. Okay think refreshing thoughts, a cold wind...a nice shower beating on my back...I can almost feel and taste the shower...then I realise, it's a shower of coffee. Damn! Well maybe I should have a real shower, that would wake me up! I hurry through the bridge muttering something or other to Chakotay about showers and waking up. I can feel his grin following me into the lift.  
"Deck coffee, I mean three!" I snap hastily, this is ridiculous I'm so wound up, think calming thoughts, breathe. I finally get to my quarters and head straight for the shower turning the water to cold. As the refreshing jet pounds my body I feel myself becoming more awake and alert. See Chakotay I think to myself turning in the shower, I don't need coffee so ha! I step out of the shower. I am completely awake, I am completely alert, I am ready to do a days work, I am lying on my bed falling asleep. Damn you Chakotay! Well, I think, a grin spreading over my face. I shall get my revenge! That will wake me up!  
  
Chakotay pov:  
  
It has been 24 hours since Captain Janeway gave up coffee and she is visibly suffering. There is now a poll running, unbeknownst to her, on how long she will hold out. I put myself down for 48 hours before she cracks, some people have already lost after betting she wouldn't last three hours. They just don't know how stubborn she can be sometimes. I caught her in the ready room at eleven o'clock last night fast asleep. She had obviously tried to do her normal hours without the aid of coffee and had miserably failed. I carried her back to her cabin with site to site transport, I thought she was going to kill me this morning but she settled for drinking her tea in a chilling silence while glaring at me over the rim. She hasn't spoken to me since. It won't be long soon.  
  
Janeway pov:  
  
I glance up from my work to catch Chakotay looking at me again, the smug bastard. I look a wreck this morning tea does nothing to wake me up. I could have killed Chakotay this morning when I woke up in my quarters. Now I find that he has stopped the computers from giving out coffee to me. I try to stifle a yawn there's got to be some way of getting caffeine in my body. I won't give in to coffee though, I know full well that Chakotay has bet that I will only last 48 hours but he's going to be disappointed. An idea starts to form in my head.   
"Excuse me," Right now I need to get straight to my ready room and lock the door.  
"Computer!" I snap the second the door is closed. "Give me some coffee ice-cream, now!" This will wake me up.  
  
I'm now on my third bowl and I'm no more awake than when I started, I just feel a little fatter.   
"Computer," I decide to try begging again, "Please give me some coffee!"   
"Request denied," I scream in frustration and collapse down on my desk. I need coffee! I look up wearily from my desk then my jaw drops as I see what's in front of me.  
"Is this a coffee mug I see before me? The handle towards my hand?" I shake my head and look at the mug, it's floating before my eyes, I reach out and try to grab it only to have it disappear. I'm cracking up. Right Chakotay, You did this to me, it's time for revenge.   
  
The best place to get to Chakotay is his precious forest program on the holodeck, he's due to go on today. I look through the times, yes here it is! He's going to be here any minute now. Better work fast. I quickly override the lock and program a few 'readjustments' to Chakotays little program. Right on queue I hear his steps, time to make myself scarce. A very un-captainly giggle escapes my lips as I hurry away.  
  
Chakotay pov:  
  
I'm in my holodeck program now, it's my favourite way of relaxing as I jog through the lush forest greenery. Not for the first time the subject running through my head is Captain Janeway, I wonder to myself how long she will hold up? The forest is utterly silent with only the odd birdsong disturbing the tranquillity. Then I hear a thud. What was that? I spin round and scan the horizon, I can't see anything, hang on, a tree starts rustling I stand very still and wait to see what it is. Through the trees there comes an enormous ten foot tall thing, spewing some black liquid everywhere. It strides towards me on a pair of ridiculous looking legs. It looks familiar, I try to figure it out, it looks like a kind of giant.... COFFEE MUG?! I shake my head, this cannot be serious. The thing takes another menacing step towards me, the ground shakes. Something tells me it's serious. I spin round and begin running in the opposite direction, the sky darkens and black liquid that tastes suspiciously like coffee starts raining down. The coffee mug is still chasing me and now it's gaining. HELP!  
  
Squelch...squelch...I make my way down the corridor, my uniform which for some reason did not escape the coffee torrent is hanging off me, stained beyond repair with endless amounts of coffee. I'm getting some very strange looks as I walk towards the Captains ready room looking like some bog creature from a swamp. I hit her door chime and then squelch my way into her room.  
"Oh my!" She bites back a giggle the very first moment she sees me, "What happened?" I can see her trying to compose herself.  
"Some-one, I don't know who," I give her a very suspicious stare, "Programmed a giant coffee mug to attack me in my holodeck program."  
"Who could have done that?" Her eyes are wide open in mock innocence.  
"I have no idea," I answer sarcastically, she bites her lip and makes her face look serious although her eyes are dancing.  
"I see," She adopts her 'I'm the Captain, I do no wrong' attitude, "Well I'd better get Tuvok to look into it, it sounds quite serious."   
"Thank you Captain," I answer stiffly with my hands clasped behind my back.  
"Oh and Chakotay?" She stops me in my tracks as I shuffle out with my sodden clothing dripping over her carpet. I turn to face her.  
"Change your uniform and have a shower, you stink!" I nod haughtily and try to save some dignity but fail after nearly tripping over my trailing uniform. My wounded pride isn't being helped by the peals of laughter coming from behind the closed doors. Well two can play at that game.   
  
Janeway pov:  
  
That was the funniest thing I've ever seen in all my life, I don't know how I managed to stop myself from laughing. My laughter erupted as soon as Chakotay had left the room, he looked so ridiculous! It's true, revenge is sweet. Though very unorthodox I mustn't do it again it isn't proper. It was funny though! Time for a reward for getting one over on Chakotay I think, maybe one of Neelix's cakes will do the trick. I head for the mess hall, the corridors look suspiciously empty but I ignore it. I walk into the mess hall, it's packed and very quiet. Most the crew of voyager seem to be there. Then the penny drops, every single on of them is drinking coffee. Even Tom who claimed not so long ago to hate the stuff is drinking it with obvious enjoyment. Chakotay is standing innocently in the middle of the room in a fresh uniform with a cup of coffee in one hand. My eyes narrow, the smell of freshly ground coffee is almost overpowering, making my senses go into hyperdrive.  
"I don't get it either." Neelix materialises at my side looking completely flustered, "They all just walked in and asked for coffee, maybe an alien life form is controlling them!"   
"I don't think that is what is controlling them," I carry on staring at Chakotay who feels my gaze and stares back unflinchingly. I put everything into the death stare I give him, the rest of the crew all wince and duck their heads. Chakotay goes a bit pink but still holds my gaze.  
"I'm sorry Captain," Neelix tugs on my arm causing me to whip round, he reels back under the remnants of my glare, "We've run out of coffee!" He gabbles, obviously expecting me to fly at him in some uncontrollable rage. But he's not the one I wish to chop into little teeny tiny pieces right about now. My grin is obviously murderous as Chakotay is staring to look worried.  
"Excuse me Neelix." I stalk out of the mess hall with my head held high. The smell of coffee has reminded my brain of what it's missing. It's screaming out for coffee, I feel weak with longing. Desperate times call for desperate measures, it's time for the emergency supply.  
  
Chakotay pov:  
  
The entire room erupts into excited chatter when the Captain leaves, most of it seemingly about where they'll find my body tomorrow. I must admit to being slightly worried. Anyone who can glare that evilly cannot be in their right mind. Tom spits out his mouthful of coffee.  
"You owe me big time!" He tries to replicate the stare Captain Janeway gave me but does not even get a quarter of the way there. I just nod, Neelix looks completely bewildered as the entire crew that walked in and demanded coffee about 5 minutes ago all turn around and walk out again leaving their half full cups on the tables. I grin to myself and drain my cup with one long gulp. She won't last much longer I can feel it. In fact right about now she should just be discovering that her secret coffee supply is not so secret.  
  
Janeway pov:  
  
I don't believe it! That scheming little.... Argh! I stand over my hidden compartment in my ready room where my coffee should be. I kick the wall in frustration, no coffee and no sleep makes Captain Janeway go completely nuts! I groan and glance at the stack of reports on my desk. I close my eyes quickly then decide to peep and see if the pile has shrunk at all. It's grown, it's now towering above me. I flop down in my chair and take a deep breath, I will survive.  
  
I've been here two hours and all I can think of is coffee. I lean my head back and close my eyes for a minute. I can see coffee, it's gorgeous and freshly ground. The gentle aroma reaches my nostrils. The coffee is trickling down something now leaving glistening tracks behind, I try to focus on a figure covered in coffee with two mugs in his hands. I furrow my brow and try to look harder, the figure zooms into view and without any warning I find myself looking at the completely naked body of my first officer. Stop right there! I jerk upright and my eyes fly open. Did I just fantasise about Chakotay naked? I run the scene past my eyes again, oh god there it is again! My breathing is irregular and my pulse is racing. 'Calm down!' I tell myself. It must be due to coffee deprivation, though he is cute when he's naked! Stop it!   
I stand up, right that's it! I'm getting some coffee!  
  
Chakotay pov:  
  
I lie in bed tossing and turning, I've been trying to get to sleep for ages but the same scene keeps on playing through my head. A little while ago we were on this planet all alone just us two collecting supplies, she had hurt her ankle and had been unable to walk back to our meet up point so I'd carried her. I can remember the way she'd laughed holding back the pain, she'd teased me with a twinkle in her eye just like the on she'd had today. After about half an hour of walking she'd ordered me to put her down, so I did. She'd lasted about 5 minutes before collapsing again, when I picked her up again she'd told me that maybe I should kiss it better to save my back. I don't know quite what passed between us then but we had a moment where it was just us. I swear that if Harry Kim hadn't found us at that exact moment something would have happened. At least I think it would've but for whatever reason I can't get it or her out of my mind.  
The door chime yanks me out of my thoughts.  
"Chakotay, let me in now!" I can hear Captain Janeways fist beating against my door. Not bothering to wait for my reply she barges into my quarters and faces me. I can tell she's doing another all-nighter, I try to guess her next sentence, it's something to do with coffee and me giving her the coffee.  
"Chakotay, I order you to give me my stash of coffee straight away!" How did I guess?   
"No," I refuse, "It's for your own good."  
"Give me the coffee," She has a dangerous look in her eyes. Someone help me!  
  
Janeway pov:  
  
I can't believe he's not giving me the coffee, I need the coffee! Right he's asked for it.  
"Commander, give me the coffee or else!"   
"Or else what?" I'm going to get him. I grab a pillow from the bed and thwack him round the head with it.  
"You will be beaten into submission!" I start a frenzied attack with the pillow causing feathers to fly around the room. He covers his head with his hands and dives for cover. Then he reaches out a hand and grabs the other pillow and tries to counter attack.  
"I will not be beaten!" He blindly tries to hit me, the feathers getting into his eyes. As I watch one shoots up his nostril. He lets out the biggest sneeze I have ever heard. I take the opportunity to clamber up onto the bed.  
"Attack from above!" I leap on top of him, he falls to the floor with a thud. "Ha! Now I have you!" I tell him triumphantly. "Now give me the coffee."  
"Never!" Big mistake, for a first officer he's surprisingly ticklish. I try not to notice that I'm sitting almost directly on his crotch as he wriggles.   
"Surrender!" I don't know what has got into me, but I also know I haven't had this much fun in....so long I can't even remember. I blame it on coffee deprivation. Chakotay gasps beneath me. I don't quite catch what he says.  
"Pardon?" I lean forward my hair brushing against his face. He twists and sends me flying off of him then he turns so I am beneath him.   
"Ha!" His chocolate eyes glow triumphantly.  
  
Chakotay pov:  
  
Now I've got her! She's lying beneath me, my hands are on her wrists pinning her onto the floor. I try not to notice her breasts brushing against my chest as she breaths heavily, or her mouth slightly open in a half grin.   
"Then I guess I have no choice," Her mouth is irresistibly close to mine, "But to...fight back!" She jerks up her knee so it lands in my crotch. I groan in pain and nearly let go of her but not quite.  
"You'll pay for that," I shake my head to get rid of the little white stars.  
"How?" She's teasing me now, I can tell.  
"I can think of ways." I'm leaning in close to her now, she's coming up to meet me. When our lips touch it's sweeter than I imagined even in my best dreams. I let go of her wrists and she brings up her hands to my hair.  
  
Janeway pov:  
  
The kiss is long and lingering. Chakotay shifts his weight giving him easy access to all of me. One of his hands moves up my thigh while the other supports my head. I pull away.  
"What's the matter?" He looks worried now.  
"You know I'll definitely need the coffee tomorrow now!" His reply is to bite me playfully on the neck, knowing full well there'll be a visible mark tomorrow. I decide to leave my conversation now as his tongue rests in the hollow on my neck and he starts undressing me. But tomorrow the coffee will be mine!  
  
The end!  
  
(pls r+r)   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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